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“I need this app so much.” “I’m so excited about this,” agreed Bethany-Jessica, a straight woman who can’t for the life of her find a straight man to engage in straight activities that she enjoys, such as eating brown rice, procuring one gay friend for politically correct dinner parties, and shopping for Gore-Tex. ”“We straights have long been victims of technoppression,” chimed Jeremi, a straight, male insurance adjuster who is constantly having his sexuality questioned because of the “i” in his name.

When SF Weekly pointed out to her that shopping for outdoor performance wear was pretty lesbian actually, she threw her hands up in exasperation. “Do you know how many times I have swiped right on a hot girl only to find out she was a lesbian? ” said Jeremi, who then admitted his Tinder profile was set up by a tech-savvy millennial named Vissarion, who is pansexual, genderqueer, and getting laid like crazy.

Vissarion looked up from his smartphone briefly during the interview with Jeremi, between receiving ubiquitous blow jobs from a parade of enthusiastic non-binary people, just long enough to moan-quip, “I feel really bad for straights.

Sure, queers face systemic harassment,that there are 10 million total Americans who identify as LGBT.

Look no further than Farmers Only, Amish Dating, or Clown Passions to find evidence of this.

But one group has been overlooked for far too long, and a new dating app, Rightly, is here to make this, well, ri“While the LGBT community often faces social stigmas in real life, there are more and more dating apps aimed specifically to cater to them,” said Arianna, a PR representative from Rightly, in a real email that was not sent on April Fool’s Day.

) but the marketing department at Flatiron Publishing told me that there just wasn’t a big enough audience.”Upon hearing about the new app for straight singles, Kevin, an exasperated straight man, told SF Weekly, “Finally! All straight people seem like Kevins to us.) “I can’t tell you how awful it is that I can literally go anywhere at anytime to potentially meet other straight people to date,” he said, whilst sipping a whey protein shake with no straw, manfully.As you begin your online dating adventure, remember: you can be anyone you want to be online. The person you may chat with today could be up to no good tomorrow.It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman; there are online dating safety precautions everyone should take.Here’s a list of sites we found that specifically cater to people 50 who want to date.As far as we know, these sites are legitimate and have good reputations.

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