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Polys are not apt to be bored in other areas of life, either. Some say they learn something about relationship skills from their other partner or partners, something that can be applied with the primary partner, she says. "When I'm actively exploring multiple relationships, balancing my time and energy is usually the most difficult part,'' says Cherie." It can also be particularly draining if more than one of my partners has a crisis in their lives that they ask my assistance with, such as supporting them through a career change, family illness, problems in other relationships, or other challenging times." But if the other person has multiple partners, she says, they also have the benefit of getting multiple sources of help.Handling the "fear response" in partners can be an issue, says Chris."Every partner adds something to my life," he says."All of these things make me a better person." The big attraction, he says, is emotional intimacy.Her female partner, she says, is also her best friend and gives her a lot of emotional support.When she goes to a romantic comedy with Jemma, for instance, Block says there's no eye rolling, as there usually is when she goes with Christopher.
Right now, she and Chris are monogamous, she says, but they plan to pursue other relationships again.
Those classic love triangle movies, he tells Web MD, were always frustrating to him. " While variety in sex is a big part of multiple romances, polyamorists say it's not the whole story.
"Why should the hero or heroine have to choose between two partners? And polyamory is definitely different from swinging, says Block.
Jenny Block often invites her best friend, Jemma, to join her, her husband, and their 8-year-old daughter for dinner.
"We might order Chinese and then play Scrabble after dinner," Block says. She simply couldn't get everything she needed -- sexually, physically, or emotionally -- from just her husband.