Dating an abusive man help

In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. Often the domestic abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.

At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love.

Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem.

If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother.

The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction.

He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'.

Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need', 'You are all I need.' are common.

Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.

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Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions.

Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.

Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.

While not all abusive people show the same traits, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness.

Generally, the more warning signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence.

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